In this blog post I'm going to be vlogging my answers to 7 questions about revising my narrative project. Some materials I looked over before making this post are What is Fan Fiction -- and why is it making people nervous? (Stephen Downes), and Rewinding and Rewriting: The Alternate Universes in Our Head (Hidden Brain Podcast). Here is also a link to my Narrative project web page
YouTube video vlog answers Here are the seven questions I'm answering In the vlog. 1) How did revising this draft impact the way you critiqued the product? Did the process lead to a closer reading? 2) When you revised the story's point-of-view, tense, and choice, did you make other revisions that weren't required? 3) How did rewriting the story in third person impact your interpretation of the real-life event? 4) How did rewriting the story in present tense impact your interpretation of the real-life event? 5) How did rewriting the decision impact your interpretation of the real-life event? 6) How did it feel to revise this story "during, after, and since." 7) For draft #3, will you return to the original story or continue with the counterfactual story? Why?
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In this blog post, I'm going to be posting a 5 to 10 minutes long YouTube video reflecting on either an experience in this class, specific assignments, specific readings/films, specific conversations, or specific processes that helped you learn and grow. After meeting with professor Mangini, I have decided to use this video to talk about what the writing process looks like for me being Dyslexic and more specifically what the editing process looks like because I feel it has the most contrast to what others do when editing. I'm also going to be listing my three primary intrinsic goals for this English composition class.
YouTube video reflections link My three primary intrinsic goals for this English composition class are, 1) To be more confident with my writing, this is something I've always struggled with being Dyslexic. 2) To try to bring out more of my creative side through writing. 3) To increase my general knowledge of grammar and sentence structure. In the blog post section I I'm going to be making a found poem in the sub genre free-form excerpting and remixing. The work I'm making this found poem out of is my narrative project draft 1. My goal for this found poem is for it to be at least 100 words and to follow the same storyline as my narrative project. In the section II of this blog post I'm going to be answering some questions related to my narrative project and this found poem.
Section I found poem I don't have the patience An option, a small window and lack of light to breath to call, to tell, to keep that promise ding, ding, ding my heart beats excruciating, don't get too concerned there was nothing there were options what options to wait, to shift, to pressure on your lungs beware no I’ll have it, I'll do it, the surgery I don't have the patience I should have waited I should have the patience waiting was overwhelming the feeling of blood this feeling some patients have how was I supposed to concentrate work, school, boss, advisor I should have waited. I should have waited till the summer. Section II Do you think the narrative provides enough descriptive language to create a compelling found poem? Yes I feel that my narrative project had enough description language to create a found poem but more description would not have hurt. Do you think the descriptive language more so creates a setting or delivers the subtext of a theme? I think for the first scene in my narrative project the descriptive language delivered more of a theme but in the second scene of my narrative project the descriptive language created more of a setting In revision, will you focus on using description to develop more of the setting or more of a theme? In revising I'll probably focus on using description to develop more of the setting In this blog post, I'm going to be revising my scene from blog post five. I'm hoping to add at least 200 more words and I'm going to be adding dialogue to help show more action in my scene.
Seen From My Life It was a cold early January day, my mom and I were heading to chop (Children's Hospital of Philadelphia) we arrived at the woods center, it's a big old four-story brick building connected to the main wings of chop. We drove into the basement found a parking spot and get a slip from the attendant. I'm starting to feel pretty nervous wondering what options I'm going to have. We take the elevator up to the 4th floor, sign-in and were told to take a seat in the waiting room. It's a bright room, paintings of elephants, zebras, and giraffes cover the walls. There's little kids all around some coughing and crying as their parents try to console them, another's running around without a care in the world. I heard my name be called and the young nurse escorts my mom and I to room 6. We wait for surgent Adzick to arrive. After waiting about 30 minutes surgeon Adzick arrives, he knocks twice on the door and then proceeds to enter. He's a tall man probably 6 foot 3 with short gray combed over hair. He walks up to me shakes my hand and introduce himself. “Hello Seth, my name is dr. Adzick and I'm the head surgeon here at CHOP for all pectus surgeries.” I can tell by the way he carries himself that he is a very confident man. He then proceeded to say, “So Seth, after spending some time looking over your x-rays, I've come to the conclusion that your severe pectus excavatum is causing your heart to shift to the left and it seems to be putting pressure on your lungs. The pressure it's putting on your lungs could be the cause of your asthma. Do to your severe condition I would highly recommend surgery as soon as possible.” I was expecting him to say this but even still hearing it out loud made it almost too real. He then said, “This is a big surgery, so I highly recommend you taking the time to weigh your options. If you decide to do the surgery, beware that you could be out of school and work for some time.” Adzick then said, “Another one of my patients was going to have the surgery in about three weeks so if you would like, I can get yours down then also or you can wait till school ends?” The idea of waiting months was overwhelming; I don't have the patience for that. I responded almost immediately saying, “I'll do the surgery in three weeks, that works way better for me." Little did I know that this surgery and the time that I picked would end up causing me my job and months of school work, I should have waited. I should have waited till the summer. In this blog post I'm going to be rewrites a scene from The Yellow Wall-Paper (Charlotte Perkins Stetson). Two of my goals for this scene is to provide description and action. I'm also going to be writing a short scene where I or someone close to me made a decision that negatively impacted my life. In this scene I'm also going to be trying to provide description and action.
The Yellow Wall-Paper It seems that I'm not getting better as fast as John hoped. I feel that i've been making leaps and bounds lately but John says otherwise, I'm sure he knows best. He says that going to Weir Mitchell's is probably the best for me, so that is where I must go. It's a dreary day; I can't help but think about my old friend who spent some time at Weir Mitchell's, she said Mitchell's is so strict he doesn't allow for anything, I'm sure I won't be able to journal there at all. I'm going to be so far away from John, I know it is what I need, and I know it is what John wants, but it feels like too much right now. Well the time has come for me to leave John loaded up the boogie and send Jennie and I off. It's a long waze away from home. We rode through grassland and valleys, around mountains and lakes and eventually arrived at Mitchells. It's the first time I've been to Mitchell's house in quite some time. Its an old small brick building sits on a lovely piece of land overlooking over the lake. Jennie and I had inside, and Mitchell shows me my room. It's nothing like my last room there's no yellow wallpaper. There's no windows looking over a garden. It's just a quiet room on the first floor tucked away behind Mitchell's office. There's no windows nor color just a small cast iron bed in the corner with a candle holder next to it. I hope I don't have to be here long, I miss John already. I know John is strict but he cared for me, I'll have to get better for him. Seen From My Life It was a cold early January day, my mom and I were heading to chop (Children's Hospital of Philadelphia) we arrived at the woods center, its a big old four-story brick building connected to the main wings of chop. We drove into the basement found a parking spot and get a slip from the attendant. I'm starting to feel pretty nervous wondering what options I'm going to have. We take the elevator up to the 4th floor, sign-in and were told to take a seat in the waiting room. It's a bright room, paintings of elephants, zebras, and giraffes cover the walls. There's little kids all around some coughing and crying as their parents try to console them, another's running around without a care in the world. I heard my name be called and the young nurse escorts my mom and I to room 6. We wait for surgent Adzick to arrive. After waiting about 30 minutes surgeon Adzick arrives, he knocks twice on the door and then proceeds to enter. He's a tall man probably 6 foot 3 with short gray combed over hair. He walks up to me shakes my hand and introduce himself, I can tell by the way he carries himself that is a very confident man. He proceeded to tell me that with my severe pectus excavatum he feels surgery is my only option. I was expecting him to say this but even still hearing it out loud made it almost too real. He told me another kid was getting the surgery in about three weeks and I could have mine done then also, or I could wait a few more months till school ended. The idea of waiting months was overwhelming; I don't have the patience for that. I told him that I'd do the surgery in 3 weeks. Little did I know that this surgery and the time that I picked would end up causing me my job and months of school work, I should have waited. I should have waited till the summer. |
GreinerI hope as you read my blogs you will gain insight into my aspirations. Archives
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